I experienced a devastating disappointment this weekend. Disappointing only to me because it was very personal, and to just about everyone else would seem seriously petty in the big scheme of life. Even I was becoming disgusted at myself for acting like the end of the world was here because I didn’t get to attend an event 1700 miles from my home.
As I was in the middle of my emotional meltdown over missing something that was deeply important to me—and will never happen again—I also realized there are very few people who would understand the way I was feeling or even the way live my life these days. I felt very much alone. Oh sure, the minutia is there for all the world to see on my Facebook posts, Twitter or Blog, but I only allow the deep intense stuff to surface occasionally, and every time it does, I end up regretting it. If I have learned one important thing; it’s don’t ever whine about your life on social media unless you want to be reminded of how lucky you are, which I do remind myself of every single day. This weekend I just wanted to have a big ole pity party and invite everyone who would feel my pain, even if it would have seemed silly and frivolous to most. Sometimes, I just need to have a virtual hug or kick in the butt, and a falling down drunken cyber-party with my peeps. Kapish?
So, after being pretty much of a hot mess all weekend, and listening to this song ‘Down’ over and over again, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGVhhdBhiqM, I think I’m coming out on the other side of this huge disappointment with a huge new resolve. I’m going to ‘art harder’, thank you to my new kick-me-in-my-butt blogger and literary hero, Delilah S. Dawson, for this phrase. For me, it means I’m going to finish this book that I’ve been whining about, and working on for the past two years, and I’m going to do everything in my power to make it the best thing I’ve ever written because I am never again going to miss out on something I desperately want because of stupid mistakes I’ve made in the past.
So, here’s to pity parties (real and cyber), well-meaning friends who remind me how fortunate I am (thank you), and most of all, to the very few friends who really do ‘get me’, and to ‘art harder’. Now, let’s get ‘Down’ and rock on…