I experienced a devastating disappointment this weekend. Disappointing only to me because it was very personal, and to just about everyone else would seem seriously petty in the big scheme of life. Even I was becoming disgusted at myself for acting like the end of the world was here because I didn’t get to attend an event 1700 miles from my home.
As I was in the middle of my emotional meltdown over missing something that was deeply important to me—and will never happen again—I also realized there are very few people who would understand the way I was feeling or even the way live my life these days. I felt very much alone. Oh sure, the minutia is there for all the world to see on my Facebook posts, Twitter or Blog, but I only allow the deep intense stuff to surface occasionally, and every time it does, I end up regretting it. If I have learned one important thing; it’s don’t ever whine about your life on social media unless you want to be reminded of how lucky you are, which I do remind myself of every single day. This weekend I just wanted to have a big ole pity party and invite everyone who would feel my pain, even if it would have seemed silly and frivolous to most. Sometimes, I just need to have a virtual hug or kick in the butt, and a falling down drunken cyber-party with my peeps. Kapish?
So, after being pretty much of a hot mess all weekend, and listening to this song ‘Down’ over and over again, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGVhhdBhiqM, I think I’m coming out on the other side of this huge disappointment with a huge new resolve. I’m going to ‘art harder’, thank you to my new kick-me-in-my-butt blogger and literary hero, Delilah S. Dawson, for this phrase. For me, it means I’m going to finish this book that I’ve been whining about, and working on for the past two years, and I’m going to do everything in my power to make it the best thing I’ve ever written because I am never again going to miss out on something I desperately want because of stupid mistakes I’ve made in the past.
So, here’s to pity parties (real and cyber), well-meaning friends who remind me how fortunate I am (thank you), and most of all, to the very few friends who really do ‘get me’, and to ‘art harder’. Now, let’s get ‘Down’ and rock on…
4 thoughts on “ART HARDER”
I think I know what your are writing about. If it’s any consolation at all, most had no clue what was happening since it was unannounced until after the fact. Definitely, not fair. I think we should find out who made out like a bandit and “liberate” their spoils, lol.
Thanks for taking the time to feel my pain with me. LOL I was talking about Stephenie Meyer Day 2013 in Forks, WA. I’ve gone to this event the past three years and it was always the best time. This year, I decided I should be responsible (ugh) and not spend the money to go again. When I heard Stephenie Meyer showed up to surprise everyone, and I began to see all the pictures of my friends that I would have been with sitting next to her on the beach and hanging out with her all over the area, I just fell apart. I know there will never be another day like that in Forks again, and I missed it. Had I known she would be there, I would have been there, too. I really do hope it was just an unexpected visit and that someone didn’t cash in on something that seemed so special to her fans. I think Stephenie’s reputation among her Twilight fans is already on such shaky ground, and if that turns out to be the case it would definitely not go down well with the fans. Okay, I’ll stop now. 🙂 Thanks again for stopping by my blog!
That’s exactly what I was referring to. When I first heard she was there, I swear, I thought of you and how shocked you’d be when you learned about it. I considered bringing books for her to sign to Forks, but my car was loaded down as it was, so I left them home. 😦 I had my car in the parking lot, but by the time I got it there for her to “auto”graph, she’d left. I was told it was a surprise visit. She was apparently working on a home she owns on the Peninsula and came to check out SMD2013. I don’t believe anyone gained financially from her visit. There was no security with her, only a friend. My camera battery was exhausted before I could get her picture with me and that left me so upset and frustrated. You are not alone. By the time she left, there were still hundreds of upset fans that missed out and they were “this close.” I wish I’d tried harder to convince you to come. I’m sorry.
Oh no, please don’t be sorry. I had a gut feeling that I should go, and came so close to just taking off last week and winging it when I got there. But, I was trying so hard to be an adult about not going. Ugh…so mad at myself. Being responsible sucks. LOL. I am really sad that you didn’t get a picture her. I agree that no one would have benefited from this visit other than Stephenie herself, and I am so glad that she restored all the fan’s faith and love in her. I hope we both have a chance someday to get pictures with her, and I really hope I have a chance to see you again, too! ❤